so, this is phizzmo. second in the leechoso series. as you can see, this guy has wings. he's as wide as he is tall.

he eats mosquitos. he eats mosquitos like fat kids eat cake. he scored 1600 on the SAT. he reads tom robbins and only goes surfing when it's overhead and breaking left. he prefers high fives over fist bumps. he never calls it soccer. he always advises safe words, when he bites he never lets go. he only takes whipped cream on his mochas between thanksgiving and new year's day. his rendition of bette midler's "the rose" will have you in tears and begging him to stop. he'll segue perfectly into "piano man."

he taught michael how to moonwalk and has set many deep-sea diving records. he's allergic to fish but can drink clamato. he chooses not to. he always gets extra man on missile command.

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